Seeing the glass half full has not always been intrinsic to my nature. Positivity is a trait I had to earn through years of dark struggle, therapy and self-reflection, combating demons – past and present. Until I saw absolutely no other way to be, it was as if a light was turned on…what was once a flicker, a glimmer in black night, turned golden, fiery, and burning bright.
We all have struggles. Life is rough. We learn what we are made of in times of uncertainty, discomfort and doubt. When all the odds are (seemingly) stacked against us, we have a choice. We. Have. A. Choice. Always. How many times have you taken the path of negativity? It’s so EASY, isn’t it? We wallow in self-pity, thinking of all the wrong and mess in our lives, we spiral down like a roller coaster, our stomach in our throat, knots of anger and perhaps even loathing and envy for what someone else’s life may seem to afford. It’s nasty – negativity. It breeds like a brown planthopper insect, carrying with it a virus and the ability to infect and devastate its host and the crops surrounding it. It can take out the best and strongest of us even in our finest season.
But…we can rise above it. We can find that flicker of light, however bright, and we can cultivate it. We can nurture positivity, we feed it into our lives by the thoughts we keep. The deep thoughts, the ones at the core of who we are, in our soul.
Here is my example.
Luke has been struggling with the use of his left hand, something I didn’t want to fully admit to, because of all the other medical and therapeutic appointments we keep on a weekly basis. Privately, I would work with him, always researching methods and creating games and activities to facilitate use of the hand he guards and keeps so tightly fisted. It has bothered me greatly, this lack of use, but not for the reasons you might think. Certainly I want him to have full function. I want him to be able to hold a cup, feed himself, pick up and throw a ball, pet his dogs with an open palm. To not be seen as different or weird or incapable. But he has been seen this way. A stranger felt the need to point out that he could not grasp the Cheerio he was trying so deliberately to pick up and “shouldn’t he be better at this at his age? What is wrong with him?” (I won’t delve into ignorance – that’s for another time.) His determination would not let him quit. He struggled and tried again, concentrating, fixating all his energy on that tiny “O”. It’s heartbreaking at times, to watch as he struggles, but I know one thing. One very important word – YET. Luke doesn’t have full use of his left hand – YET. That one little word changes everything. It changes the tone, the meaning, the attitude, the perception of ability. Before you could ride a bike, could you ride a bike? Of course not! You didn’t have the balance, the coordination – the confidence! Our thoughts become beliefs and our beliefs become words and those words we either whisper or scream profoundly, become actions and actions become the path we walk. We can choose what we tell ourselves, what we tell others. I know what I tell Luke, and what I will always tell my son who for now, never gives up. If ever the day arrives (I’m sure it will) when he is made to feel inadequate or cannot do “that thing” my response will be, “yet” – “You can’t do it, yet.”
We need to repeat positivity until it bleeds the blackness from our thoughts, from our words. Until it becomes the only way we know how to be. It’s hard, I will not lie. Some days are a real struggle. Recognize the struggle. Own it, replace it with full, shining, bright and pure light and move on. Move past the doubt you have in your heart. If you can’t do it today, in this very moment, let tomorrow be your chance at “yet”. I know you can do it.